Parenting to alot of people can be a touchy subject. 

Since alot of people are stuck in their ways. Predisposed ideas from how you were or were not raised. 

As I was complaining to my girlfriend. Well not complaining but voicing my exhaustion. 

Two kids require insane amounts of energy. And when you’re hyperactive yourself and they tire you out it says something. Even more so that they have the same attention span as I do. About 0.2 seconds. 

So they’re forever getting into everything possible. I have to repeat the same things literally 100 times a day. That seems like a major understatement though.She asked me “are they really that bad or do you want them to be too perfect?” Which sparked a mile a second thoughts.

And it’s not that they’re bad. I guess when parenting atleast I feel anyways. There’s certain things you want to let go. But the fact that your not being listened to, or heard, I think as parents we take it personally. Like how dare you not listen to me. It becomes less about the thing you do not want them to do and more about, I am the boss you listen to me.

Too much discipline, not enough. It’s hard to find balance of the things that they should be doing. And the things that’s you should just let be. 

The scariest part is when you start to realize that you’re acting more and more like your parents. Especially when the things that you apply to your daily parent life. Are the things that you hated as a child. And still disagree with to this day.

And I guess being a young parent. I take it even more personal. Because I’m 26, a single father with two kids. And there’s such a stigma around young parents. 

That we must somehow all be irresponsible and people just assume that you a bad parent from the get go.

Which I guess gives me that incentive to make my children all the more polite and respectful. Like my oldest son, will hold the door open for people especially a woman. He helps me set the table. I never had to tell him. He just watches me do it. And takes initiative. Manners and respect are something very important to me. 

I guess it all stems from fear that id you let one thing slide. It will just escalate then all of a sudden you have no control of your home or daily schedule anymore.

Although the one thing that never leaves is the unconditional love. I also believe that we do certain things as parents for ourselves. For example I can honestly say that bedtime/storytime is something that I need more than they do. They love it for sure. And cannot get enough once I get started. Buy if I were to go a day without they wouldn’t have a care in the world.  But it would bug me.

Like I’m reading the stories to them, but I’m also reading them to the past me, the kid who never had stories read to him. No deep gentle voice lulling me to sleep with fairytales. Drifting off feeling safe and cozy in bed.

I guess the point is sometimes as a parent you have to sit down and look back and think about the motives behind everything you do, every rule you set.

And take the high road once and while, hug them hard and tell them that you love them.