A silent poets loud dreams

Life in the words of a mediocre poet.


February 2017


Do you remember?

Do you Remember the good old days?
we were never afraid. The ten year old we’ were braver than we could ever be today.

Where’s the adventure?

What happened to that sense of adventure, sense of fearlessness, the never giving up. 

We have all been bloody and broken at some point!

Falling down a hundred times, getting up a hundred and one. It didn’t phase us.
Blind to the fact that life was something to be figured out.

Where’s that who cares spirit now?
The I am who I am, be who ill be attitude.


I never get what I want.

It seems as adults we just turn into big babies. I’m uncomfortable, things aren’t going my way

I’m sad, mad, hurt, frustrated and nobody is taking it away. Always wanting what other people have, whining all day.

Younger you had it right.

We can all benefit from looking back to our younger years. What did the innocent you believe? What did you fear?

How would the young you act, with all these trivial, iwrrelevant things you call unfair?


What is heaven and hell?

I will be the first to say that I have absolutely no clue what is out there in the world.
Lately I have been fixated on the conceptualized “Heaven” and “Hell.”

I say “conceptualized,” only because I personally am an agnostic existentialist. Therefore I have no set in stone belief system, yet accept the possibilities that anything could possible. While some think it is foolish to go through life with faith in nothing, I feel like it can be just as damaging following a blind faith. In regards  to my own self anyway.

I was just thinking of how the very idea of hell makes no sense to me. And yes I have read the scripture, been through the bible many of times. Maybe not as a Christian, but as an open minded person who like everyone else, was searching for meaning in anyplace possible. “God” is suppose to be merciful and loving. As well as punishing in a supposed engaging and nurturing way. That brings me to hell, why then if this so called creature or demon, whatever name you may have for him; would be his job to punish and to torture your lost soul, when he in fact is suppose to be the opposition of god. Why would he not relish in your bad behavior, reward you for being on his side. I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.

I am reminded of a song by an artist named Immortal Technique, in it he said.
“hell is not a place you go if you’re not a Christian, it’s the failure of your life’s greatest ambitions.” I always thought about this particular phrase, in turn making the view of heaven and hell less of an end destination, but a state of mind. A state of mind that changes within different circumstances. I say this because even though we spend our life physically on this earth, we also spend its whole entirety in our minds.

Just my random thought of the day.

Change your mindstate.

There is no resolve in anger; only more angst, which bleeds ironic considering happiness is not always easily obtained.

Looking at things differently.

People always say, “The devil is in the details.”
Although that may ring true, life is about perspective; you can find details just about anywhere.  In virtually everything, perspective ultimately changes the way you view or act upon the things that you already know.

Some people believe that dreams can tell us a whole lot about what’s going on in our subconscious minds; our every desire and failings, that in our sleepless state our mind is in tune with the sort of emotions that we can never bring ourselves to voice; possibly a fact that we ourselves do not fully understand our own, clashing made up scenarios with subtexts of hidden truth.

Others believe that, they mean absolutely nothing. While I support
this mindset, I also find it absolutely naive. Oh do I ever envy the innocence. What I wouldn’t give to shut this brain down, taking life as it comes, never again giving in to my existential curiosity. Instead I search for the profoundness in every aspect; I guess you could say it is almost an obsession. But without understanding what meaning do I have, do we have?

Picture this. You’re walking down the sidewalk during the night, your path illuminated by the incandescence of the streetlights. To most that is exactly what they are, just street lights; metal poles with electricity coursing through wires snugly tucked in its center, making its way to a soulless bulb. I can’t even look at something so simple without breaking it down to its actuality.

What I see? Well what I see is how we all look shady underneath, no sun to highlight perfections or imperfections; a vague image of a person casted in a shadow, lurking off to somewhere unknown.
That’s the point, we don’t know!  Essentially stripping down everything we know past the superficial, once we get passed all the vanity, passed what we can look at, when you are left alone with nothing but your thoughts.

Ask yourself the question, who am I? I mean truly ask you, in total darkness. Ask yourself when you are coming unravelled, when you are so stuck that you know there is no possible place you can go.
Who am I? Who am I? Is probably one of the hardest questions to answer, right next to the meaning of life?

We all expect the answers to be so clear, that they will just slap us in the face one day and the switch will flick on. Oh! Okay, I understand now.
Expecting it to all be intrinsic, the problem is we spend our time searching for ourselves vicariously through everyone else; trying to see what everyone else sees, thus forgetting about what is on the inside. There is no one and I mean absolutely no one in this world who can tell you who you are.

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